Girls! Girls! Girls!

God, she's so fat, I can't even look at her!

God, she’s so fat, I can’t even look at her!

“I promised myself that if I ever got this chance, I would thank Chad Lowe.”

This is why I love Lena Dunham. Among other reasons. Namely her honest, funny, weird, outrageous HBO show, “Girls,” for which she won Best Actress & Best TV Series—Comedy or Musical at this past weekend’s Golden Globes.  But the awards given are not what people are talking about. Nope. We’re talking about how Lena Dunham is fat.

Sigh. Really?

Really. By now you’ve probably already heard about the Howard Stern/Lena Dunham debacle, and if you haven’t, I’ll paraphrase. Basically Howard Stern said that Lena Dunham is fat and when she takes her clothes off on-screen it’s like watching someone get raped. Because she’s fat.  He then added, “Good for her. It’s hard for little fat chicks to get anything going.” I guess that’s a compliment?  Dunham took it as such, saying on Letterman, “It put me in the best mood! I just want to be like, my gravestone says, ‘She was a fat chick, but she got it going.’” Stern apologized after the Golden Globes. Because he was afraid of backlash from the Dunheads (I’m coining it, just go with it).

But it’s not just Howard Stern. It seems that everyone has an opinion about whether or not Lena Dunham is too fat to be taking off her clothes on camera. Whether she is too fat to be at the helm of an award-winning television show. Whether she is too fat to deserve to live.

I’m not going to go too far into this because it is dumb. We all know it’s dumb. All the people talking about it know it’s dumb. Lena Dunham knows it’s dumb. Howard Stern knows it’s dumb. It’s dumb. It’s dumb that we can’t help ourselves from debating the size and shape of a filmmaker because she is a woman. And that’s the only reason anyone is talking about it.

Thankfully, Lena, herself has thought about the world’s obsession with her naked body:

“Another part [of doing nude scenes] feels like, not ‘Fuck you,’ but a way of saying, with these bodies, you know: Don’t silence them. I say I’m not a political person, but it’s a political statement in a way… I know it’s going to gross some people out. There’s people who don’t want to see bodies like mine or bodies like their own bodies.”

And there’s the crazy part—people don’t want to see bodies that look like their own bodies. Why not? Because then it might be ok to look like the majority of American women? Or maybe it’s because we’re worried that skinny actresses will have a tougher time in Hollywood? What would Anne Hathaway do if there were more regular shaped women competing for her roles? Well, Anne Hathaway would just out-emote everyone and still win awards. But what about Keira Knightley? What about Nicole Kidman? What about the entire cast of Gossip Girl? What would happen to them?

Keira as an endangered species? Doubtful.

Keira as an endangered species? Doubtful.

Nicole Kidman at the Golden Globes looking not as scary skinny as I've seen her. In fact, I like that dress.

Nicole Kidman looking not as scary skinny as I’ve seen her. In fact, I like that dress.

What about all the pretty skinnies?!

What about all the pretty skinnies?!

They’ll be fine. If Lena Dunham takes off her shirt again, the skinny actresses will not perish. They’ve been around too long. You can’t kill off an entire group of people with just one bite of cake.

Apparently we've all been eating cake the wrong way.

Apparently we’ve all been eating cake the wrong way.

Or two.

Ok. A cupcake.

Ok. A cupcake.

Or three.

Just goin' to town.

Just goin’ to town.

So congrats Lena! Congrats on your success! Congrats on your controversy! Congrats on your cake! I am a fan for sure!

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