Cause You See I’m on a Losin Streak

I CAN get no…

The weekend is over and I am officially sick of eating. I am dumbfounded by this. I am usually in love with food. I can’t wait until it’s time to eat again. Normally. But in this moment I think that if I never had to think about food again, I would be a happy contented woman.

Too bad I’ll probably need to eat soon in order to avoid fainting by the end of the day.

Yup. I’m going to have to think about feeding myself sometime again in the future. Just if I want to stay alive and all. If what I’m aiming for is satisfaction, then where is my trophy because I am a winner! I feel so satisfied by what I’ve consumed this past week. I’m talking Reese’s Peanut Butter cups satisfied. I feel utterly un-compelled to eat anything else. I am, as they say, full. Not stuffed. But full. Full of good food and full of life–I saw a great movie this weekend, did some dancing and got a lot of writing done. Full.

For now. I know this too shall pass. So I must persevere and force myself to think about what I’m going to eat. Boy, my life is hard. I don’t want to think about it long, I want to know the answer and move on. I want to catch up on Homeland!! What is going to happen to Carrie and her new head scarf? And what about Mandy Patinkin and his beard and stylish plainclothes CIA agent fedora? Will they find each other? What’s going to happen?!?!!

She’s made for this, come on Estes!

Just a casual tourist in a hat. Definitely NOT a CIA agent.

So in keeping with my new focus on satisfaction, I think about what would really make me feel satisfied. Since I don’t want to think about what would taste good because I am over it. I start to think about what would make me feel good. And then I picture kale.

Doesn’t this look good?

Who am I?

The idea of kale makes me feel good because I know I could make it taste good and I know my body would enjoy the nutrients. I mean barf in my mouth, seriously, who am I? But it’s true. My body knows what it wants even when I don’t. And right now, it wants kale! And kale it shall have.

And all of a sudden, I feel satisfied. Self-satisfied. A little smug around the edges, but hey, I’m not perfect and I’ll take it. It’s satisfaction. And that makes me a winner.

Suck it losers!


2 thoughts on “Cause You See I’m on a Losin Streak

  1. Hi Jan – thanks for your blog – I do enjoy reading your stuff. I had asked if you could send me the wonderful photos of your trip to Italy. Your compositions are wonderful. I am particularly interested in two of your landscapes and the mushrooms. Thank much! Esther Shapiro –

  2. I had something similar happen to me at goal weight years ago – I was craving nectarines for dessert. Like, seriously, a fresh nectarine was what I wanted. Chocolate wasn’t.

    It was very weird.

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