Gimme that stupid Bravo sticker

I mean, they’re just so condescending.

Weight Watchers meetings are where I go to regroup. To plug-in and refresh my resolve and my focus. And to get tiny stickers that say “Bravo” on them.

Now some WW leaders give them out a lot. You might earn a Bravo sticker for losing half pound. Or for eating carrots instead of chocolate at the end of the night when you had no more points left. My leader, Lynn, hands them out mostly to applaud someone who’s had a significant NSV – a non-scale victory. For example, even though I gained a little weight this week because I drank too much beer at a 4th of July party and then ordered Thai food for dinner (Happy Birthday America?), I got right back on track the next day eating a plethora of leftover jicama and cherries, resulting in a feeling of confidence and resolve that I lost somewhere in that Red Solo cup while fireworks went off in the distance.

Here’s the thing. I’ve been in WW for 8 years. I’ve gotten a lot of Bravo stickers. Several years ago I began to scoff at the mere notion of a Bravo sticker. I am not a child. I may behave like a child, but should anyone else suggest that I am childlike by giving me a gold star for my behavior, I am suddenly the hippest, most sarcastic, too-cool-for school adult I know. How dare you offer me such a ridiculous prize. If I really did something prize-worthy, then I want a cookbook, or an exercise DVD I’ll never use. I don’t want a sticker.

But maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe if I embrace those stupid stickers, I’ll learn something. Lynn knows not to give me a Bravo sticker anymore. She still celebrates my NSV’s in meetings plenty, but she knows that if she hands me a sticker I will roll my eyes and a salty comment will come rolling off my tongue. We’ve been together for a while now, Lynn & I, there’s not a lot of pretense. But maybe it’s time to get a stupid paper bookmark and put some stupid green Bravo stickers on it and carry it around in my stupid purse. Stupid. But maybe, actually, really smart.

Alright, I’ll do it.

See, I don’t celebrate my successes enough. I don’t know anyone who does really. Well, let me rephrase that – I don’t know anyone I like who celebrates their successes enough. I only know egotistical douchebags who talk about everything they do that is amazing. Most of us had that cocky attitude mercifully checked at some point in our youth when we realized that kind of behavior is unattractive.

But maybe I need to access my inner cocky douchebag from time to time.

Obviously, I’m exaggerating a bit. I don’t think I need to be a braggadocio and talk only about myself and my awesomeness. I mean, that would be annoying. But it does seem like a little horn tooting wouldn’t be a bad thing at this point.

Because otherwise, it’s too easy to pass quickly over everything I’m doing right and only pay attention to what I’m doing wrong. And how am I supposed to be successful when I’m doing that?

So Lynn, I’m ready for my stupid paper bookmark. I know I’ve turned it down in the past, but now I’m ready for it. I want to fill it up with tiny stickers that remind me of all the bread baskets I’ve refused, all the walks I’ve taken, and all the planning I do. And I am serious about this. In fact I believe I deserve Bravo stickers today for the following 3 things:

1) I was really happy with the way I ate this past weekend. I mean really pleased with myself – I felt balanced and successful all the while having a fun-filled weekend. Couldn’t tell you the last time I felt this way.

2) I threw a fun all-day party 2 days before weigh-in and I gained weight and felt fat and bloated and icky all the next day, BUT I got back on track IMMEDIATELY instead of wallowing in my failure – I ate veggies and fruit and lean protein, I walked, and I kept my nasty inner evil Jen in check when she started to be her old predictable self.

3) I decided I want to be given a sticky green star even though it is stupid, so that I might ac-cen-tuate the positive…

Now gimme that stupid Bravo sticker. I want it. Give it to me.


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